So… it’s been awhile since I shared any botanical crime news. But this story out of East Hampton, N.Y., is kinda crazy. Both for what was stolen — 60 ostrich fern plants (sixty!) — and for the gardener’s reaction.
Enraged landscape designer/ victim Kevin Keyser stuck a sign in his yard, offering a $1,000 reward for the “low life” who stole his plants. He also installed security lights and cameras, started a neighborhood watch and told the NY Post, “These guys better hope the cops get them before I do.”
Now, I’ve gotten worked up over plant jacking, for sure. But threatening bodily harm? He must love him some ostrich ferns! (Have to say, they don’t do much for me, but I’m not a huge fern fan, myself.)
He also told reporters, “Either they’re an idiot or they have cojones the size of bowling balls.”
I’m not sure, but I bet anyone with cojones the size of bowling balls might have trouble carting away 60 ferns.