I want to gnome more!

Sometimes, I really, really miss small-town crime reporting. Especially when I see a HUGE MISSED OPPORTUNITY, like this awesome police brief that came out of Palmyra, Pa. today. This is the kind of ish I would have been ALL OVER when I worked police beat in Wenatchee, Wash., a million years ago.

Reporters, for God’s sake! Pull your heads out and have some fun! Go get a QUOTE! Gimme some color!

OK… sigh…ready? Here goes…

20 Garden Gnomes Taken From Yard

Theft Happens on Cherry Street in Palmyra

(Great subhead, right? Really adds a lot. Not sure I’ve ever seen the word “Happens” used as a headline verb either. But to be fair, this is a TV site.)

PALMYRA, Pa. — Twenty garden gnomes were taken from a Palmyra yard earlier this week, police said.The theft happened at a home in the 700 block of West Cherry Street between 5 p.m. Tuesday and 4 p.m. Wednesday. Eight of the gnomes are ceramic and about a foot tall, police said. The other 12 gnomes are plastic solar-powered lights and about six inches tall. Anyone with information is asked to call Palmyra police at 717-838-8189.

Yes, please… someone provide some “information” on this crazy crime!

I really want to know more about these gnomes. And the person who collects them and actually thinks they can have 20 gnomes in their yard without being hit!

Plastic, solar-powered frickin’ gnomes?

Really?????

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About plantkiller

Paysha Rhone is a wife, mother, former-journalist-turned-PR-maven and bad mamajama killing plants in the Victorian splendor of Fitchburg, Massachusetts.
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