Zoinks! Foiled bud bandit stabs weed farmer, dog with clippers

Now here’s a plant jacking that makes some sense. Yeah, it’s pretty sad to steal from medical marijuana patients, but still… there’s some logic here. This ish is valuable. And fun to smoke. (So I hear.)

The Record Searchlight reported yesterday that a 29-year-old crazed pot fiend tried to steal medicinal Mary Jane plants from a home on Garden Avenue (really) in Redding, Calif. Police have identified the suspect as Christopher Collier Rich. Why? Because he lost his wallet at the scene, while scuffling with the ganja farmers. Doh.

Rich reportedly sneaked into the home’s backyard around 7 p.m., looking for grass. (He apparently could barely wait for sun down.) But he was caught by the resident and his brother, who he tried to stab with a pair of trimming clippers. (Maybe he just wanted a cutting, to propagate?) He also tried to stab the family’s dog. The dog. Obviously high.

The two men fought briefly with Rich, who escaped through a section of fence he’d broken during his failed B&E. One man suffered a small cut to his hand and the dog was not injured, police said.

No cannabis was harmed (or taken) in the attempt.

Police are still looking for the bud bandit, who is described as a white man, 5-foot-11 and about 180 lbs with short brown hair and blue eyes. He was last seen wearing a blue shirt and torn tan pants.

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About plantkiller

Paysha Rhone is a wife, mother, former-journalist-turned-PR-maven and bad mamajama killing plants in the Victorian splendor of Fitchburg, Massachusetts.
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