In what must be the most high-profile of flower hate incidents ever, Madonna has issued a YouTube apology to hydrangeas.* It’s a pretty funny video. Very Italian film noir, all black and white and subtitled and melodramatic.
I don’t agree with the Material Girl on this one; I adore hydrangeas in all their glorious manifestations and colors. In fact, I hope to plant a whole bunch of them next spring. (I am, as we speak, tracking exactly where the summer sunlight falls all around my yard to determine just the right spots, with a good amount of both light/heat and shade. Yep, out taking nerdy pictures every hour.)
But… being a professed hater of certain other flowers, I DO admire her passion. Own it!
Her manners… well, that’s another matter. This whole public mea culpa came about because she talked trash on an open mic about a big (beautiful) dark purple hydrangea branch that a fan gave her at the Venice Film Festival. “I absolutely loathe hydrangeas,” she says to the person next to her in a video of the unfortunate incident that immediately went viral. Then she rolls her eyes and sticks it unceremoniously under the table. “He obviously doesn’t know that.” (I love the insinuation here that the offending fan has not done his homework. The nerve!)
Her rep later told CNN: “She’s entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn’t want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world. No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers.”
She probably should have just thanked the fan graciously and shut the eff up. But the world is full of women behaving badly when given flowers they looooaaaaathe (emphasis Madonna’s), as I found out by googling “Carnations” and “Hate” last night.
Check out this post: The Corny Carnation, on the site of a certain love life adviser, Miss A. In it, a man asks Miss A what’s wrong with giving his girlfriend carnations? Miss A goes on at length about the flower’s deficiencies, ending with: “Perhaps, it’s just a girl thing. If you don’t want to spend a great deal of money, try sunflowers, or tulips, but NEVER carnations.”
And then, one of Miss A’s readers reminds us that when Berger broke up with Carrie in Sex and the City via a yellow Post-it, her enraged reaction was to cold cock a vase of pink carnations he’d brought her. (Of course, she did not attack him at the door, flowers in hand… by the time she lashed out she was completely justified.)
So there you go. We should be grateful for any flowers that come our way. But no, ungrateful bitches, we are not.
*Big, big thanks to my hs friend and fabulous NYC art director Mike Dawson for sending me this link on FB last night, as I and several other friends were going on and on about plants we hate. Big love!