I think this might be the tallest weed in the world.
I went on the Guinness Book of World Records site, though, and all I found was this giant cucumber, grown by Clare Pearce in the UK last year. And she’s not even really smiling in the picture! More like a little smirk. Whaaaaa? Maybe she’s just really tired from weeding and hoeing and lugging around giant vegetables for millions of years.
Anyway, Guinness only lists 3,000 of its 30,000 records online, so maybe there’s a weed out there taller than mine.* I didn’t actually measure it, but I’d guess it’s about 12 feet tall. It has giant prehistoric-looking leaves and also looks like it’s trying to bloom up top. I do not have the heart to chop it down. I mean, it’s a stalk now.
Fee-fi-fo-fum. I am going to climb it to the sky and come down with enough gold to buy a yard full of of Hydrangeas and Hibiscus (the hardy kind).
* My yard is really big. I would like to qualify this post with the statement that there are parts of my yard I barely visit, let alone weed. One day at a time. One bed at a time. Though, it must be said, I have been advised by several people to move on from my so-called Happy Bed, as I am starting to look crazy, working that same little corner of dirt all the time. While weeds like this thrive in the rest of my yard. Yeah, it’s a little weird. But isn’t there something to be said for wanting to get just one little bed RIGHT? Aim low, that’s what I say. Aim low and surprise.