Tase me, bro!

ALLEGED Tractor-stealing, no shirt-wearin' tase-happy Ronald Divel*

So… on the topic of jacking: things could be worse. A lot worse.

Check out this ridiculous story of garden crime I just came across. (Please don’t ask me how. It’s just an interest… really.)

Apparently, a Maryland man was so curious about how taser burn really feels, he resisted arrest purposefully to find out. This after stealing a tractor and garden cart.

The Frederick News Post reported today that Ronald Divel** of Emmitsburg, Maryland, told local cops he refused to surrender because he wanted to see what it feels like to be tased. Divel and a “juvenile” female were chased deep into a corn field after a neighbor of the victim pointed police in their direction.

(This dumb criminal story was also picked up by nbcwashington.com – it has legs!)

The reporter did not share Divel’s age but judging from his mug shot, he’s young. And probably either high or none too bright. Or both.

According to charging papers filed in Frederick County District Court, a man allegedly saw a shirtless Divel take off on his neighbor’s red Troy tractor, pulling his juvenile partner-in-crime in a dump cart behind him late Sunday night; the citizen sleuth followed them in his truck until he saw them veer into a corn field. The witness then flagged down a patrolling sheriff’s deputy, who attempted to arrest Divel in the field. Divel tried to get away, but apparently fell off the tractor and then refused to submit to the cuffs. (Visions of Children of the Corn!)

The victim's rough estimate of value with the red dump cart: $1,600. Sort of puts my stolen yarrow in perspective.

That’s when Officer Michael “Fearful for His Safety” Sutton tased him, hitting him in the chest and right arm. Later, Divel  told investigators that’s what he wanted.


The tasing officer also hit the tasee with various theft and burglary charges and for failing to obey a lawful order. Divel’s juvenile gal pal, found perched in the garden cart in the corn field, told the deputy she did not know the tractor was stolen and just wanted a ride.

She was obviously not in a hurry.

*Once a journalist, always a careful user of “alleged” to describe charged-but-not-yet-found-guilty suspects.

*What an unfortunate name. Swap the i and the e in Divel and… well, just sayin.’


About plantkiller

Paysha Rhone is a wife, mother, former-journalist-turned-PR-maven and bad mamajama killing plants in the Victorian splendor of Fitchburg, Massachusetts.
This entry was posted in Flower jacking, This just in and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Tase me, bro!

  1. Erica says:

    I’m so glad you’re writing for the masses again!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s