Flower jackers, part I

I’ve been thinking a lot about flower jackers lately.

This is not a common term, by the way. Google it and you get almost nothing about the thieves who break the hearts of gardeners everywhere, seemingly without remorse. An old friend, who’ll remain unnamed for obvious reasons, used to indulge in this evil practice. I used to think it was kind of harmless and funny, but now my conspiratorial chuckling has been replaced with fiery indignation and disdain. Because I’ve since become a victim.

Ah, the luxury of pettiness.

Anyway, the unfortunate woman above — 50-year-old Fawn Loyd — was arrested in a Tampa cemetery today for the lowest form of flower jacking… from the dead! She’s reportedly an accountant, so maybe she was just trying to save on her floral budget. But taking the stuffed animals too? C’mon. That’s just mean.

A witness called police when they saw Ms. Loyd taking flowers, stuffed critters and even flags (!) off graves and stuffing them in her car. Cops found her hiding behind a mausoleum. She tried out a few aliases before finally giving up her name. (Can you blame her? I mean…Fawn?) I love that her charges include prowling. Grrrr.

I am not making this up.

More on this topic later. Much more than probably anyone wants to read.

See above, under “victim” and “fiery indignation.”